The Light You Seek…

Dear Reader,

“The light you seek” is part of a larger saying that represents a huge spiritual truth. I’ll share the full saying in a few moments, but first, a story.

Years ago (decades, actually) when I graduated from college, I had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I didn’t know what kind of work I wanted to do, or where I wanted to live.

I did, however, have an imperfect next step.

“The trip”

Less than a month after graduating from the University of New Hampshire, with a bachelor’s degree in psychology and a minor in dance, I set off with my best buddy to hitchhike across America.

Bill and I roomed together senior year, and planned our adventure in between exams, projects and performances. We placed a huge map of the United States on our dorm room wall for inspiration. We made a list of the things we would take with us, did our research, and slowly gathered our gear – a tent, hiking boots, cooking equipment, clothing, trash bags, masking tape.

Our motivation sustained us, even as we struggled toward the academic finish line.

After a few weeks of rest, and time with our families, we left Portsmouth, New Hampshire on a beautiful June morning. Our trip was open-ended, with no set return date. If we spent years on the road, so be it.

We also had little idea of where we would go. Aside from traveling down the East Coast and spending time with friends and relatives, then setting out for the World’s Fair in Knoxville, Tennessee, we had no agenda.

Our trip started for real the day a friend and classmate drove us to the outskirts of Providence, Rhode Island and left us next to a highway heading south, in the shade of an underpass.

All of America lay ahead.

Little did we know on that hot afternoon that we would be gone for nearly a year and a half, and cover 16,000 miles before returning home.

“The trip,” as we called it afterward, provided more of an education than four years of college. As you can imagine, we had many incredible adventures.  They include hiking in Glacier National Park, the Grand Tetons and the Grand Canyon. We got trapped in our tent by: a flood in Utah, a horrific lightning storm in the North Dakota Badlands, a bear in Yellowstone and by state troopers in a park on the banks of the Mississippi River. The troopers were nice, but we had to leave.

We sang in a bar in Pratt, Kansas – as the featured act. Kind strangers took us in an average of once per week. They gave us food, showers and a place to sleep. Cave explorers in the Black Hills of South Dakota even invited us to stay in their “guest house”- a log cabin without electricity or running water.

Of all those memories, one that has stayed with me the most powerfully to this day involves a simple notice on a billboard.

The teaching

On the outskirts of some small town on the California coast one day, we found our way to a strip mall to do laundry. I vaguely remember a hallway, artificial light, a nearly empty bulletin board containing a lone poster. I have no idea what the notice was for. What I vividly remember is a saying that appeared near the top of the poster:

“The light you seek is in your own lantern.”

That insight became one of the seeds for my spiritual unfolding.

It is one of the biggest spiritual truths available to us. That which we seek, lies within. Most great wisdom traditions, both ancient and modern, point us not outward, but inward. In addition, the traditional religions have a mystical aspect guiding us within; the Gnostic mysticism contained within Christianity is only one such example.

I have spent a lot of time in my life seeking truth, and exploring different spiritual teachings. Maybe you have too? At least some of that exploration involved looking outside myself. God, Spirit, Source, whatever you want to call it – must be out there somewhere.

At some point, as I did, you may have finally realized that what you were seeking was inside of you all along. If you are anything like me, you found that insight both comforting and incredibly annoying.

The realization only led to more seeking, now within instead of without.

The takeaway

Spiritual seeking is important, even necessary, but it’s easy to become attached to the seeking itself. Here’s the great paradox: seeking is necessary, and so is letting go of seeking! There is a time to search. There is also a time to surrender and allow.

The light you seek is in your own lantern.

Can you let that be so?

Once you finish reading this post, here’s what I suggest:

• Sit quietly, and simply reflect on your own search; all the experiences you have had, the reading and studying, the questioning, stumbles and struggles.
• If you have had great breakthroughs, or moments of surrender and insight, think of those as well.
• Honor your journey, every bit of it.
• Consider what it really means, that the light you seek is in your own lantern. Think of how profound that makes you, me, and all of us.
• Ask yourself, can you just allow your light to shine?

Let your quiet time be simple. See if you can experience it more as a heart thing than a head thing. If you notice anything holding you back, honor yourself for that too. It’s just another part of your marvelous journey.

I honor your loving heart,

John