Dear Reader,
Is there any action you would like to take this year that you have, so far, been putting off? Have you been wanting to sign up for that class, read that book, write that resume – yet it keeps getting put aside for another day? Does your resistance continually win out over your desire to act?
Don’t resist your resistance.
Huh? Wait, I’m serious. Don’t fight your resistance – just observe it. Fighting it creates movement in your mind toward a decision, and mental movement without real awareness often triggers a habitual response – leading to the desired action being postponed yet again. Resisting the resistance only adds to your mental conflict, and reduces the likelihood that you will finally do what you have been putting off.
Here’s an example of what I mean. I often meditate first thing in the morning. But one morning recently, as I was getting out of bed, I found myself thinking “I really don’t want to meditate this morning.” My feet hadn’t even hit the ground yet! Instead of trying to give myself a pep talk at 6A.M., I simply noticed my resistance, without judging. I stayed fully aware of how my feet felt as they hit the floor. Again, I had the thought that I didn’t want to meditate. But again I simply noted the thought, and walked down the stairs to our living room, as I usually do when I meditate. I paid attention to how my body felt as I walked closer to the couch where I sit to meditate.
“I don’t want to meditate this morning, even though I am closer to doing it. I could go and make coffee, right now, and check my email.”
Instead, I said to myself “There it is again,” as I continued to pay attention to my breathing (which felt really good, by the way,) as I looked out the window to fully take in the morning light (which looked really beautiful) – and as I kept walking toward the couch.
When I reached the couch, I sat down and meditated. It was very anti-climactic.
At no time did I try to talk myself into meditating. When you try to talk yourself into doing something, you create the potential to talk yourself out of doing it. Instead, I just observed my resistance and created the space to let it be – until it was no longer relevant.
Try it the next time you are about to take that action you haven’t yet gotten yourself to take. If your next step to register for that class is to pick up the phone and dial, allow your resistance – as you also pay attention to your breathing, how it feels to walk across the floor, how the phone feels in your hand, and what the numbers sound like as you successfully punch them in…
I honor your loving heart,
John
Leave a Reply