Dear Reader,
A few days ago, we marked the anniversary of September 11th. I respond differently every year, and this year I felt – disconnected. In fact, I didn’t think much about the day until it clicked into my mind at 8:46a.m. Eastern time, the time when the first plane hit the World Trade Center.
Here in the U.K. the time was five hours later, and I was already partway through my afternoon. The commemorative events unfolding in New York City, Washington D.C. and in a field in Pennsylvania, felt far removed in both time and space.
Yes, I could remember the smell that forced me to keep my apartment window shut for days after the attacks, even though I lived miles away from Ground Zero, on the Upper East Side.
I could remember the faces of ordinary people staring out from posters hastily plastered on buildings and bus stops, all with a headline reading “Missing: have you seen…”
And I could remember all of us, in the days and weeks that followed, wondering if the attacks were really over.
Even so, this year those memories seemed distant, more like a movie than a tangible, lived experience.
Of course, I wondered why I felt this way.
I don’t know for sure, but I have a feeling that it has something to do with the coronavirus pandemic that is still unfolding, leaving its mark on every country in the world.
Both 9/11 and COVID-19 are generational events. They will be remembered for lifetimes. For some, both events come with personal tragedy and great loss. For others of us who weren’t as directly affected, the events still shook us in profound ways and changed us forever.
At least a few times this year, in the midst of lockdowns and the stories of personal sacrifice, I have been reminded of 9/11. I have heard others say the same. Yet in some ways, the two events couldn’t be more different.
9/11 was a lightning bolt, streaking from the sky once, twice, three times, and then done. It left us all wondering what had happened, and whether it was over. It was fast, pinpointed, and highly visible.
The coronavirus, on the other hand, has unfolded slowly, so slowly we wondered if anything was even happening at first. But its unfolding has been relentless, widespread, and often hidden from view, with victims disappearing into hospitals, sometimes to return home and sometimes not.
So different, these two events. And yet…
The same.
Both events are global in scope. They are both great disruptors, turning everything we know upside-down. And both have forced us to rethink all that we hold important and dear.
9/11 and the pandemic have called on us all to pull together.
We are left to reflect, and called on to make choices. How will we live our lives moving forward? What will our vision be? How will we treat each other, and how will we treat our planet?
We are still in the midst of this pandemic, trying to make sense of it all – even though we still don’t know how it will play out. We are experiencing great transformation, and we have the opportunity to move forward with great hope, no matter how tumultuous things seem.
Most importantly, both of these profound events leave us facing new terrain. How will we act?
After 9/11, collectively, we didn’t handle things so well. This time, we can do better.
I guess it’s no wonder that I felt disconnected from the events of 9/11 this year. Maybe I can only focus on one generational calamity at a time. I know that I am here, now, living this event, along with all of you.
I also know that I have a vision and great hope for the profound transformation that is possible, moving forward from this time.
And maybe, it is because of 9/11 that I take this new opportunity seriously. We are all in this together. We are beings of great creativity and resilience.
Our souls know the way; let’s see what we can do.
I honor your loving heart,
John
This is a beautiful peice of writing John, I loved it. This is the first year I have forgotten 9/11 and I feel guilty about that, like I have forgotten those lives and that pain suffered and felt through out the world. I was at work in Cupar in Fife. Morven was four, Vhairi two and Erraid just 7 months. I wasn’t long back at work as a Clinical Psychologist, working part-time and missing my babies. It was a Friday, wasn;t it? I had walked into the secretary’s office and she was listening to the news, it was happening right then and we stood and looked at each other. It was time for me to head and pick up the girls and take them home from our childminder. I drove home fast almost like expecting them not to be there. The world had changed and I was afraid. I needed to hold my babies. I think 9/11 and Covoid 19 for the world in a way are the same. Both shocked us all. Both hit the whole world hard. Both caused us confusion and extreme fear and many folk, too many, died. I don’t know New York but I can picture it in my mind. I can see the towers. I can see St Patrick’s Cathedral, a place I identify with as a Catholic. Humanity and faith are one and the same. When it comes down to us we can identify with each other, in many ways. As a child affected by trauma and the death of my dad in meaningless and affoidable fire, each new trauma the world faces hurts me . I identify with human suffering and seeing the many folks die this year of this horrendous virus has hurt me badly. The world has become scary again, like it did on 9/11. My three little girls are now little now. Morven a junior doctor in Glasgow, Vhairi a staff nurse in Aberdeen and Erraid a medical student in Aberdeen. The time has flown and I miss them dearly. But I am grateful that in a odd way I know and understand pain , like 9/11 and like Covoid because that knowing has made my girls care, care about others and about human suffering. That is why they do what they do and all through this year they have cared for patients in our health service. I am one proud mother and I am grateful that in their childhoods they had wonderful role models like you. You taught them so much. To think of the world as a big place not a tiny island. To know the love of dance and of friendship. We all love you so much are grateful that you walk this earth with such a love of dance and of language and that you always share that with those you meet on the path you follow. Thank you John, you are a inspiration. We will facce more challanges in the months and years to come. In this new decade that we moved into together, our friendship means so much. God bless John. I love you. Joyce xx,
Joyce, thank you for your kind words! Thank you also for your lovely story; it helps illustrate that 9/11 was one of those events where we all remember where we were and what we were doing when it happened. September 11th 2001 was a Tuesday; I remember because I had flown back into New York City from Chicago on the 9th, on an American Airlines jet, on the approach pattern that took us right past the twin towers. A little girl in the row ahead of me said “Look Mommy, the buildings are as high as the plane!” Less than forty-eight hours later, they were destroyed. Your story also illustrates how the event was experienced and felt so deeply all over the world. I wonder how we will remember our experience of the coronavirus?
I also appreciate what you said about pain and suffering. Pain is so often a catalyst for our own transformation. Through our encounters with it, we grow in courage, resilience, and wisdom. Knowing your girls as I do, you have given them so much, and you have every right to be proud of them! They are all doing such good work in the world. It may be that they have learned something from me, but I know that I have learned a great deal from them. I am inspired by you all, and I love you all!
Thank you John for sharing and writing the blog. It keeps me connected to you. I don’t know you Joyce but thank you for your thoughtful intimate comments.
I didn’t forget 9/11 .I never will – just like COVID-19. I’m living in Sarasota now, but I lived in NYC. I still find myself shedding a tear. I have triggers, ( beautiful sunny days, the sounds of low flying planes, strange packages left unattended.)
To hope and better days.
Gratitude, love, peace and Good health
Marsi, it’s good to hear from you! I hope you are well, and thriving in these transformational times. I’m trying to remember, was the dance group able to meet soon after 9/11? I do understand about triggers. I have a tougher time going up in tall buildings, and heights in general, since then. Love and peace back to you!