Finding Peace Within

Dear Reader, The breeze is fresh with air off the North Sea, and earlier the skories (seagulls) were crying loudly outside our window.

Now, at an early hour, darkness is nearly complete here at sixty degrees north latitude, and a wind-whipped rain drives against the glass. I can hear the hum of the wind through well-sealed windows, and I am grateful to be cozy inside.

I am writing today’s post closing out 2014 from Shetland, my home of four years.

Louise and I are back for the holidays, visiting family and friends. The company is good, as is the food, and I am enjoying the chance to reconnect with so many dear faces. I am also loving the natural, rugged beauty of Shetland that I became familiar with while living here.

I am wondering, today, as all the hype builds for the end of another year and the beginning of a new one, what it takes to feel peace inside, no matter where you are and what is happening.

One of the first answers that comes to mind is that all it takes is freedom from the word “should.”

• I should be going to a New Year’s party tonight.
• I should be celebrating.
• I should be reflecting on all that has happened over the past year.
• I should be with someone I love.
• I should be happy, wealthy and care-free.
• I should save the world next year.
• I should go here, there and everywhere on this trip.

See what I mean?

Being trapped in the Prison of Should means that you are attached to the past and fixated on the future.

In other words, you are trying to be everywhere except where, and who, you are right now.

What to do instead?

The easy answer is to drop the “shoulds,” but as the old saying goes – “Easier said than done.”

Here are three actions that may help:

1. Focus on your breathing. Breathing is immediate; it is present, and that’s right where you are and where you want your mind to be. If you are breathing, you are alive, and if you are alive, there is hope, no matter what you may be thinking and feeling.
2. Before you take any action, ask yourself if you can be at peace with any imagined outcome, result or consequence of that action. If the answer is yes, you’re good to go. If the answer is no, you may want to choose a different action.
3. If you are struggling with a choice of actions, choose the one that feels best deep in your heart. That option may require getting quiet and listening, but you can practice that. It may also take courage, especially at first, and especially if you have been languishing in the Prison of Should for a while.

Dear reader, here comes 2015. I wish for you, and for me, and for all beings, one thing in the new year – freedom from the word “should.”

I honor your loving heart,

John