Dear Reader,
Last week I made up a fun game to play while I was running errands in the city. This game involves the soul, the heart, and compassion. I call it “the blessings game.”
It all started when I was walking from my car into the Maine Mall, the largest mall in the state. It was a blistering hot day, and I was eager to get inside. As I followed the crosswalk toward the sidewalk near the entrance, I noticed an older gentleman slowly approaching the crosswalk from the other direction. He was tall and lanky, I would guess in his eighties, and smartly dressed in a fresh short-sleeved shirt, pressed slacks and shoes.
I don’t know whether it was because he reminded me of my own parents at that age, or whether I admired his willingness to brave the heat and the crowds at the mall to have an adventure that day, but after I had passed him, a thought entered my mind from nowhere:
“Blessings to you, sir.”
In that moment, I felt great compassion and admiration for him. It had nothing to do with pity; I simply wished him well, and wanted good things for him.
Then another thought entered my mind:
“Why should my wish for blessings be limited to just this man?”
So, as I entered the mall, I started wishing everyone I passed “blessings to you,” in my mind. Given that the mall was busy, this was no easy feat, but I kept at it for a while. I noticed my heart expanding, and was moved to tears at least a few times.
When I began to feel tired and lose focus, I took a short break, then started again, this time picking out people at random to wish blessings for.
I also started paying attention to when it felt easy to bless, and when I resisted blessing. I noticed when judgement about others came up on my part. I started specifically wishing blessings when I felt resistance, and tried to release judgement. I paid attention to how it felt to wish different people blessings. I paid attention to when I forgot the game, and to what inspired me to remember and start again.
I kept playing the game after I left the mall, even as I drove in town to go to the library. I wished blessings to people who drove slowly, people who tailgated me and people who cut me off in traffic.
As I walked along the street, I noticed flies swarming on a piece of rotting fruit in the hot sun. The thought came to me from nowhere:
“Why should blessings be reserved only for human beings?”
Some of my best thoughts and intuition feel like they come from nowhere. So I wished blessings to the flies. A few feet further along the sidewalk, I blessed a dog and its owner.
While at the library, I wished blessings for people who seemed tired, people who talked loudly or answered their phone, and people who just sat reading.
“Blessings to you.”
I felt my heart expanding further.
I sent a text to my wife Louise, wishing her blessings.
As before, sometimes I forgot the game, and I tried to notice what reminded me to start again. After I left the library, I noticed how beautiful the sky was, and the trees lining the street. A thought came to me from nowhere:
“Why should blessings be reserved only for human beings, animals and other creatures? Why not trees, plants, and the earth itself?”
So I wished blessings for the trees and the earth.
It’s a beautiful game. Would you like to play?
What I mean by “blessings”
This game is certainly not original. It is very similar to “metta,” or Buddhist loving-kindness meditation, where as you meditate, you wish a variety of other beings peace, well-being and happiness. In fact, you could consider my game “portable loving-kindness.” So while blessings could have a more religious connotation, depending on your background, they don’t have to. Find a meaning for wishing blessings that feels right to you.
On that day, it was simply my game, rising spontaneously from within me. My intention was to wish people well, and experience good in their lives. As I played, the game helped me see and release my own judgement, expand my heart and deepen my sense of compassion for all of life – even though none of that was my intent. At one point, I had the image of each human being as fragile, vulnerable as a baby bird we might cup in our hands – even as I acknowledged that human beings can also be fierce badasses.
Who knows, my wishes for blessings may have even contributed a little something positive to the world, although I will never know.
What I don’t mean by blessings
This game, as I said above, is not about pity, nor is it about being condescending. It is not about making yourself better than anyone or anything else, or making anyone else less than.When I played, I tried to keep my wishes simple, heartfelt and genuine. I tried to make every single wish for blessings fresh and new.
A few guidelines for the game
If you want to play, here are a few simple rules. Please feel free to break them, or make up your own.
- As you are walking, riding or driving, silently wish blessings to everyone you see: “Blessings to you,” or whatever wording feels right to you.
- If and when wishing blessings to everyone becomes too much, simplify the game and wish blessings to random people you see.
- Pay attention to your experience and your feelings. What do you feel in your heart? What emotions do you encounter? How do you find yourself responding internally to the different kinds of people you meet?
- If and when it feels right, try expanding your blessings to animals, insects, vegetation, the planet – the sky is certainly not the limit in this game.
- And at some point – wish blessings to yourself. You are worthy too.
- Remind yourself that you are not playing this game to get something back. Just experience your own compassion, and wish others well.
- If you don’t feel anything, try sticking with it for a while (without judging yourself!) and see if you are surprised by your experience. That means allowing yourself to be surprised, without expectation.
That’s the blessing game.
Worth noting that several days later, I find myself playing the game again. Maybe we could all use a little more of this in our days.
Dear reader – blessings to you.
And as always, I honor your loving heart,
John
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